Free field guide
A pocket key to the moves that pull us apart.
The Disconnect Pattern Field Guide names the recurring moves used to divide us — in conversations, families, feeds, and news. This free excerpt pulls eighteen of them from the full almanac of 104, each with a tell and a small countermove you can use in the moment.
It’s not a weapon to use on other people. It’s a mirror — most of these are moves you’ll catch yourself running too.
What’s inside
Eighteen patterns, each with a tell and a countermove.
The Loaded Question, DARVO & Sealioning
The conversational moves that make you concede a premise, apologize for raising a concern, or argue yourself to exhaustion.
The Silent Treatment & Weaponized Incompetence
How absence and bad-on-purpose effort quietly redistribute power in close relationships and shared work.
Ragebait, Parasocial Pull & Outrage Laundering
The three feed mechanics that turn your anger, your trust, and your sense of justice into free distribution.
Love-Bombing → Devaluing
The warmth-then-chill cycle that trains you to chase a high you were given on purpose.
A repeatable card shape
Every pattern follows the same four lines — where you meet it, the tell, the lever it pulls, and the small human countermove that disarms it.
Want the whole almanac?
The full Field Guide works out all 104 patterns across eight settings — conversation, family, feeds, news, politics, marketing, long-form, and work. A one-time purchase, not a subscription.
The full guide is being prepared for release. Subscribe above and you’ll be the first to hear when it’s ready.